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The secret to a happy and healthy relationship is occasionally going the extra mile for your partner and simultaneously acknowledging each other’s efforts.
The relationship dynamic can drastically shift if the above is compromised.
This story involves something similar: a conflict between effort and acknowledgment. It all started when a woman baked a special lasagna for her partner and received an unexpected response.
We will call the original poster (OP) “Sally” for the story’s sake.
The Special Lasagna
Sally is famous among her friends and family for her delicious lasagna, which she makes from scratch, including the pasta dough. She spends a good amount of money on the ingredients, and it takes her an entire day to bake her exceptional lasagna.
It sounds like a lot of effort, right? Something only to be shared on special occasions? Not what Sally had in mind.
When Sally baked her legendary lasagna for her girlfriend on a normal day, no special occasion, the response was not what she expected. According to her girlfriend, the lasagna tasted “EXACTLY” like the one made with canned sauce and boxed pasta sheets.
The Cheap Lasagna
A month later, Sally’s girlfriend came over for dinner and asked for lasagna. Due to the lasagna request being on such short notice, Sally ran to the store and bought boxed pasta sheets and canned sauce to bake lasagna.
Sally assumed it would be fine because her girlfriend found no difference between her special lasagna and the quick one. Little did she know that one lasagna would bruise her relationship.
The Spat Over Dinner
Sally’s girlfriend got very upset upon tasting the quickly made lasagna, claiming she was expecting a meal and “not something cheap.”
Sally explained the reasons why she couldn’t bake her extraordinary lasagna. First, she didn’t have the time, as her special lasagna takes all day to make, and second, her girlfriend affirmed that it tasted exactly like the cheap one.
Not Heard or Appreciated
Upon hearing this justification, her girlfriend got annoyed and said Sally “wasn’t putting in effort” for their relationship. To that, Sally pointed out the comments that her girlfriend had previously made about her special lasagna.
Sally’s girlfriend blamed her for not seeing through her comments, which made Sally agitated, and their dinner resulted in a fight.
Opinion of Friends
It’s normal to allow close mutual friends to mediate disagreements when things get out of hand. Sally chose to take such recourse, but this did not result in her favor.
Her friends put her girlfriend in the victim’s chair, explaining that Sally should have informed her girlfriend about the type of lasagna she was making. They also stated that it was implied that her girlfriend wanted the special lasagna when she asked for it for dinner.
Sally was baffled by how the situation unfolded. She insisted that the time constraint prevented her from baking her special lasagna. She was perplexed and had second thoughts about her cooking.
How Much is Enough?
Sometimes, the effort one puts into a relationship might not be sufficient for their partner, even if it requires a lot of time and money. Sally went above and beyond for her girlfriend, but her girlfriend perceived the result as something ordinary.
Sally looked for some rationalization that might soothe her disturbed mind.
According to one commenter, Sally missed a close call, as the incident “revealed her girlfriend for the petty, ungrateful person she really is. Now she can safely escape before she signed a lease, bought a car, got married, or had kids.”
Breaking Down the Situation
Another individual sympathized with Sally and said that the situation must be exhausting for her as there was no satisfying her partner. The individual added that her girlfriend had complained about both the simple lasagna and the special lasagna.
Another sympathizer made Sally realize that she was the victim in this situation. They wrote, “She dismissed your meal last time, comparing it to quick and easy recipes. Further, as you stated, you didn’t have time to make the lasagna from scratch. In 2 hours’ notice?!
“If she can’t understand it, then she’s being incredibly obtuse or unreasonable. She owes you an apology for her behavior.”
What People Really Think About Cooking for Someone
“Like another person said, this isn’t about the lasagna. OP could have brought her the most delicious food in the world and she likely still would have tried to tear OP down because I dunno, OP didn’t bring it fast enough or she didn’t serve it on the plate she liked (despite all the plates looking the same).”
Unfiltered Voices
“Boy you really can’t win with her, can you? You make good lasagna, she complains, you make simple lasagna, she complains. That must be exhausting to figure out what she actually wants.”
When Enough is Enough
Sally tried to get a third opinion from her friends, but the responses did not clarify the situation for her. Despite how the circumstances unraveled, Sally is still confident that her lasagna is special.
Who do you think is in the right? Should Sally should wait for an apology, or does she owe one?
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