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Have you ever said something offensive and later wished you could take it back?
Here’s a viral story about a father threatening to cut off his daughter financially over offensive remarks she made about his new girlfriend.
The original poster (OP), who we’ll refer to as James in this story, met his girlfriend Courtney after his wife had passed away in a car accident.
That was when the family drama started.
The Straw That Broke the Camel’s Back
Losing a loved one is certainly a difficult process. James went through his mourning stage for about a year; shortly after, he met Courtney.
Courtney was an Ivy League graduate, had a dark sense of humor that James loved, and—to top things off—she could cook; she had it all.
We have all heard, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But is that true?
What Led to the Dad’s Ultimatum
James could picture himself with Courtney for the rest of his life. Courtney was a tad overweight, but this was never an issue for James.
James and his previous wife had two kids, Elijah and Camila, and he introduced them to Courtney that summer. Courtney did her best to get along with Elijah and Camila, but she could only win over Elijah.
James noticed this and asked Camila if there was something Courtney did to offend her. Camila simply denied that she disliked Courtney.
It’s Not Just About Money
Months passed, and James and Courtney continued to spend time together. Although Camila denied any problem, she continued to be rude to Cortney.
It was now Thanksgiving, and Elijah and Camila came over to visit their dad for the holiday.
Before Thanksgiving dinner, James asked Camila to “please be polite during the meal.” He said this because Camila had a history of being rude, even when Courtney was kind.
The Emotional Toll of Offensive Remarks
The first 10 minutes of Thanksgiving dinner went well. But then James noticed Camila glaring at Courtney.
As Courtney went to grab her third plate of mashed potatoes, Camila blurted out, “Don’t you think you’ve eaten enough, you fat pig?”
Courtney immediately started sobbing and ran to the bedroom.
Daughter Reacts to Her Father’s Financial Threat
James could feel his face getting red like a tomato and asked Camila to leave.
About half an hour later, after James cooled down a bit, he texted Camila that he “would no longer pay her tuition.”
He told Camila that he would only continue paying for her tuition if she apologized to Courtney—and if Courtney accepted her apology.
Trying To Find Common Ground
Most people quickly learn from their mistakes, but this wasn’t true for Camila.
“Camila must have assumed that I was bluffing because she instead doubled down on her behavior.”
Camila continued her rude behavior against Courtney until James logged into her university’s tuition payment site and canceled the next semester’s tuition.
“She called me crying and begging me to reconsider but I told her my mind was made up.”
Uncovering What Others Think
One online user addressed the father in an attempt to make him understand the daughter’s perspective.
He wrote: “You’ve managed to put your grief behind you, but the process is much slower for some people. Seeing C in her mother’s place at Thanksgiving was probably very hard on your daughter. That doesn’t excuse her rudeness, but it might explain it. Secondly, you’ve made your daughter’s tuition dependent on C accepting her apology. As the fees are something between you and your daughter, that’s not appropriate, especially as C seems to be the issue here.”
Examining The Public’s Opinion
What the daughter did was completely out of line. OP should step up and be a father, but he should also try to understand the situation from his daughter’s perspective.
Perhaps the father and daughter could see a family counselor to build empathy.
Raw and Unfiltered Responses From the Trenches
Another user remarked: “I’ve been in a similar situation. Though it happened to me at a much later age. I have lashed out, and I still despise the new woman. Because the speed at which the new woman came into his life made me question everything up to that point. Was the marriage ever real? In the case of your daughter, she has the added grief she needs to process. And in her eyes, she might feel she hasn’t had the time to. While she’s still grieving, you’ve brought this new person back and forced her to accept (again) the reality that her mom is truly dead and that you’ve already moved on.”
Lessons on Family Dynamics and Communication
It’s understandable to feel hurt and frustrated when loved ones make offensive remarks, but it’s important to remember that reacting with a negative action isn’t the best solution.
Parents are responsible for guiding and supporting their children, who ultimately follow their actions.
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James is in a tough situation with his daughter and his new romantic partner. But it’s never too late to start anew, right?
This thread inspired this post.
The ideas presented in this article do not necessarily align with the views or opinions of the Financially Well Off.
This article originally appeared in Financially Well Off.
