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Splitting rent with your significant other can be a messy task. Money can cause tension in any relationship. But what happens when one person’s actions affect the rent split?
A user on an online forum posted about her real-life money situation and left many scratching their heads in frustration.
Let’s get into it.
Dividing the Bills
The original poster (OP), who we’ll call Sophia in our story, lives in an expensive city with her fiancé, who we’ll refer to as Benjamin. She added that if you’re not making over 95K in this city, you need a roommate to afford the rent.
Because they live in an expensive city, Sophia and Benjamin live with a roommate. Although he’s a bit messy and has smelly feet, Sophia can tolerate these traits.
However, one night, their roommate came home drunk, and this is where things took a downturn.
How One Couple’s Approach to Finances Caused a Rift in Their Relationship
That night, Sophia’s roommate was feeling spiritual and couldn’t help but want to talk it out.
Sophia mentioned that Benjamin gets triggered quickly, which became evident with what happens next. Unexpectedly, Benjamin snapped after hearing the roommate talk and told him to get out!
Not only did he tell the person helping them with rent to get out, but he also added that he could afford the rent by himself.
It’s Not Fair
“I’m moving out I’m sorry. I can’t live with your fiancé. I’ve lived with so many different people. He’s terrible.”
Shortly after the roommate left, Benjamin expected Sophia to cover 50% of the rent, even though he was earning twice as much as her.
To make matters worse, Sophia had only recently started working after being laid off a few months prior.
Fiancé Upset Over Unequal Rent Payments
If you can’t manage something small, you can’t manage something bigger, right?
Despite Benjamin earning twice as much as Sophia, he didn’t believe in having a savings account. Fortunately for Sophia, she did.
Their monthly rent was $2800. Sophia decided to cooperate by giving Benjamin $1000 earlier in April for May’s rent.
Surprisingly, things go even more downhill from here.
A Matter of Priorities
After Benjamin received the $1000 from Sophia, he was confused about what this money would be used for.
He attempted to send the money back to Sophia, but Sophia offered him the option to use this money for other rent-related bills.
A Compromise or a Dealbreaker?
“He bought a new compound bow, hundreds of dollars in oil paints and canvases, paid 2x his truck payment, etc.”
Instead of using this money to pay the bills, Benjamin went on a mini shopping spree. Then, adding fuel to the fire, Benjamin accused Sophia of being a bad person for not paying her portion of the rent.
Was Sophia supposed to pay an additional $1400 on top of the money she’d already given Benjamin?
“I’m not the reason the roommate left, you are, and you told the roommate you could afford it, why do I need to split it evenly? I’ve posted [ads] about roommate wanted, sent them his phone number because he wanted to screen them, and he didn’t respond to them apparently.”
“Also, I sent $1000 earlier and because I didn’t specify he blew it on hobbies he wants, when I told him, ‘I’d love to do those too, but I’m focused on saving for a house, and to be financially stable to have those hobbies in my future.’”
What People Really Think
“You need to take these steps in order: Start looking for another place to live, even if you have to get a few roommates. As soon as you can lock a place in, return the engagement ring and call off the relationship. Move out.”
“If you’re afraid of his reaction, do #3 instead of #2 while he’s at work and leave him a note with said engagement ring.”
“Sell the engagement ring and say he didn’t specify it was for marriage.”
A Closer Look at Public Opinion
“This is the best advice that I’ve seen. OP, you need to get out of [that relationship] as soon as possible. If you do leave, be very careful. Make a Safety Plan. Call the police non-emergency number if you’d like an officer to go with you to get your things.”
“Your fiancé’s behavior is not normal. It’s not okay. He kicked out your roommate in a fit of anger and said ‘I can pay for rent myself.’”
“He’s now manipulating you and trying to take advantage of you financially. You shouldn’t have to work two jobs to try to get by just because he threw a tantrum. He said he’d pay for rent.”
More Truth From the Trenches
“Put a hold on the marriage. Your fiancé has issues with an equitable split versus an equal split. Normally loving couples want to help each other succeed, not bleed one dry so the other can buy his toys.”
How Financial Disagreements Can Put a Strain on Any Relationship
It’s not easy navigating money matters in a relationship, especially when unexpected events are added into the mix.
Sophia seems to be in a tough position, but she seems to be getting support from users online.
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Have you ever had arguments over money? What would you have done differently here?
This thread inspired this post.
The internet has influenced the ideas presented in this article and does not necessarily align with the views or opinions of the Financially Well Off.
