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After an unfortunate incident caused their roommate to move out, this woman helped her fiancé out with rent. When he wasted it on other things, she was appalled. Now, their relationship is in danger.
Dividing the Bills
The original poster (OP), whom we’ll call Sophia in our story, lives in an expensive city with her fiancé, Benjamin. Sophia mentions that you need a roommate to afford the rent if you’re not making over 95K in this city.
Because they live in an expensive city, Sophia and Benjamin live with a roommate. Although he’s messy and has smelly feet, Sophia can tolerate him.
However, one night, their roommate came home drunk, and this is where things took a downturn.
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That night, Sophia’s roommate was feeling spiritual and couldn’t help but want to talk it out.
Sophia mentioned that Benjamin gets triggered quickly, which became evident with what happens next. Unexpectedly, Benjamin snapped after hearing the roommate talk and told him to get out!
Not only did he tell the person helping them with rent to get out, but he also added that he could afford the rent by himself.
It’s Not Fair
“I’m moving out I’m sorry. I can’t live with your fiancé. I’ve lived with so many different people. He’s terrible,” the roommate reportedly said.
Shortly after the roommate left, Benjamin expected Sophia to cover 50% of the rent, even though he earned twice as much as her.
To make matters worse, Sophia had only recently started working after being laid off a few months prior.
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If you can’t manage something small, you can’t manage something bigger, right?
Despite Benjamin earning twice as much as Sophia, he didn’t believe in having a savings account. Fortunately for Sophia, she did.
Their monthly rent was $2800. Sophia decided to cooperate by giving Benjamin $1000 earlier in April for May’s rent.
Surprisingly, things went even more downhill from here.
A Matter of Priorities
After Benjamin received the $1000 from Sophia, he was confused about what this money would be used for.
He attempted to send the money back to Sophia, but Sophia offered him the option to use this money for other rent-related bills.
A Compromise or a Dealbreaker?
“He bought a new compound bow, hundreds of dollars in oil paints and canvases, paid 2x his truck payment, etc.”
Instead of using this money to pay the bills, Benjamin went on a mini shopping spree. Then, adding fuel to the fire, Benjamin accused Sophia of being irresponsible for not paying her portion of the rent.
Was Sophia supposed to pay an additional $1400 on top of the money she’d already given Benjamin?
What Sophia Had to Say
Sophia ranted, “I’m not the reason the roommate left, you are, and you told the roommate you could afford it, why do I need to split it evenly? I’ve posted [ads] about roommate wanted, sent them his phone number because he wanted to screen them, and he didn’t respond to them apparently.
“Also, I sent $1000 earlier and because I didn’t specify he blew it on hobbies he wants, when I told him, ‘I’d love to do those too, but I’m focused on saving for a house, and to be financially stable to have those hobbies in my future.’”
A Gameplan
Someone commented, “You need to take these steps in order: Start looking for another place to live, even if you have to get a few roommates. As soon as you can lock a place in, return the engagement ring and call off the relationship. Move out.
“If you’re afraid of his reaction, do #3 instead of #2 while he’s at work and leave him a note with said engagement ring.
“Sell the engagement ring and say he didn’t specify it was for marriage.”
Honest Advice
Another person chimed in, “This is the best advice that I’ve seen. OP, you need to get out of [that relationship] as soon as possible. If you do leave, be very careful. Make a Safety Plan. Call the police non-emergency number if you’d like an officer to go with you to get your things.”
Put a Hold on the Marriage
A third person said, “Put a hold on the marriage. Your fiancé has issues with an equitable split versus an equal split. Normally loving couples want to help each other succeed, not bleed one dry so the other can buy his toys.”
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Sophia seems to be in a tough position, but she seems to be getting support from users online.
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