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Weddings are a sensitive subject for couples, families, and especially those paying for this special event.
The original poster (OP) posted on a popular online forum about paying $150,000 USD for her son’s wedding and still not being allowed to invite eight people.
Let’s dive in!
A Party to Remember
OP, a middle-aged woman, offered to pay for her son’s wedding under two conditions — first, that he use a wedding planner, and second, that she be allowed to invite eight people of her choice.
The engaged couple both had large families and planned to invite around 400 guests to their wedding. OP’s son didn’t have a problem with OP’s eight guests, but his fiancée didn’t want to invite them because she didn’t know them well enough.
A Special Day Ruined
The fiancée’s family blamed OP for ruining the bride’s day, even though they weren’t contributing financially to the wedding.
“Yes, I am fully aware it’s a lot of money…I want my kids to get what I never had. The issue is Ashley does not want me to be able to invite anyone. I have 8 people I’m inviting (older relatives that I’m close with). I don’t care about any of the other details of their wedding whatever they choose is fine as long as I get the two things that I want.”
How Money Can Affect Relationship Dynamics
Money can be a dominating factor in relationships. The old saying “with money comes power” is also a deciding aspect of relationships.
In this case, OP planned on investing $150,000 USD, which paved the way for her two simple conditions.
Conflict Despite Financial Investment
Although OP was making a large financial contribution to the wedding, this unreasonable dilemma over the eight guests placed OP in an awkward position.
OP stated, “It makes Ashley uncomfortable since she doesn’t know them that well and it’s her day. Her family is saying that I am TA (even though they aren’t willing to continue [sic] financially).”
When Personal Interests Conflict With Family Expectations
Weddings are all about bringing people together and uniting two families into one. Drama is bound to happen at weddings, but it’s all about overcoming personal interests for the sake of family.
A user commented, “8 people for a wedding this size is nothing. The bride seems extremely entitled. Try taking away your offer and look how quickly they will be okay with your guests.”
Mother Threatened to Cut Off Support
“I think you should take back your offer to pay for the wedding completely. OP, you sound like a kind person who maybe is not used to being used but the way you are being treated is not okay and you shouldn’t reward it. The way Ashley is treating you is not okay and she does not deserve a single penny from you,” says one user.
The majority of the responses on Reddit favored OP completely backing off from paying for the wedding.
OP, however, did not find herself emotionally capable of cutting off support.
What People Really Think About Weddings
“That many people means the bride and groom won’t even have a chance to talk to everyone. She’d probably never even see these people there. I don’t get what the issue is.”
More Public Opinion
“If Ashley’s family has such a problem with you inviting 8 people then they can pay for the wedding or you know keep their mouths shut. Threaten to pull out the money and see how rapidly she’ll change her statement.”
Breaking the Silence
“OP, you sound like a kind person who maybe is not used to being used (new to this amount of money) but the way you are being treated is not okay and you shouldn’t reward it.”
Navigating Family Expectations and Financial Support
A great solution for family conflict is communication. However, this is easier said than done.
“It’s not ‘HER’ day, it’s ‘THEIR’ day. The groom’s opinion matters too. What does she expect, that only her family should get invited? You’re being more than generous in the amount you offer, you have a right to invite HIS FAMILY to show up,” a user commented.
So what are your thoughts on the matter? How would you feel if you were paying $150,000 USD for a wedding and were not allowed to invite guests of your own?
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This thread inspired this post.
The internet has influenced the ideas presented in this article. It does not necessarily align with the views or opinions of the Financially Well Off.
