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Mother’s Day is a special holiday that honors mothers for all their hard work. After all the love they pour into our families, it’s well deserved, right?
A day that’s meant to be relaxing can suddenly become draining. Here’s a real-life scenario of how multiple mothers frustrated a new mom after asking her to make plans around their schedules.
Let’s dive in!
The Motherhood Dilemma
Imagine the emotional toll “after 3 years of infertility and multiple miscarriages.”
This situation is what the original poster (OP), who we’ll call Mia, experienced but persevered through.
Fast forward three years, and Mia finally managed to get pregnant, eventually giving birth to her first baby. Now, she’s ready to celebrate her first Mother’s Day.
Balancing Self-Care and Others’ Expectations
Some mothers want to do something extravagant on their special day, but not Mia.
She wanted to spend the day with her husband and their baby at her favorite restaurant.
Unfortunately, this is where things start to go downhill.
Is It Selfish to Want to Focus On Yourself on Mother’s Day?
Mia’s mother wanted her to make the 90-minute drive to spend the day with her.
However, Mia didn’t want to spend three hours of her day in the car, especially with her newborn.
As if things weren’t already complicated, they get worse.
Perspectives From Different Mothers
Additionally, Mia’s mother-in-law wanted her to have lunch with her before she carried on with her plans.
“My husband says we have to see his mother on mother’s day and, while he’s annoyed that she is only available to see us for lunch, says we will have to plan the day around her availability.”
Societal Expectations and the Need for Self-Care
If Mia and her husband planned strategically, they could make all these plans work, right?
The problem was that Mia’s mother-in-law didn’t like Mia’s favorite restaurant, and going after dinner meant it would’ve been past the baby’s bedtime.
Why Mothers Deserve to Celebrate Themselves on Mother’s Day Too
Mia was left feeling conflicted with a bitter-sweet feeling.
On the one hand, it was exciting to be able to celebrate an important milestone for Mia as she was finally a mother. On the other hand, accommodating her mother and mother-in-law’s schedules made it feel draining.
“My husband thinks I need to compromise and that we can have a perfectly nice lunch that celebrates both me and his mom somewhere that we both like. My mom is upset that no version of our mother’s day plans involve her.
I finally broke down and told everyone that I will be going to my favorite restaurant with the baby and that they can all go do whatever they want.”
Breaking Down the Barriers
“Good for you! NTA and you’re not selfish. I’m honestly shocked that your mother and your MIL aren’t more understanding. Also, congrats on becoming a mom! Enjoy your first Mother’s Day, dont let them bring you down! You deserve it!”
The Unspoken Truth
“My MIL tried this after my son was born. I told her you’ve had 40 Mother’s Days and this is my first. I’ll be doing what I want. Luckily, husband backed me up and we had a lovely day at the zoo.”
Exploring People’s Thoughts
“Spend your first mother’s day with your husband and kid. Husband should have YOUR back, not MIL’s.
NTA And what will happen when OP is ready to have Thanksgiving at their own home. Christmas at their own home. At what point is it OK to do either?”
Balancing Celebrating Motherhood and Taking Time for Yourself
Mothers, you shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritizing yourself on Mother’s Day. Worrying about upsetting your family or friends is natural, but remember that self-care is essential to happiness.
Mia’s experience will hopefully remind you that it’s okay to celebrate your way and that it won’t always be easy to choose yourself.
So go on and celebrate your day how you want with who you like. You deserve it!
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