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A woman struggles to pay for her son’s college tuition since a family member revealed his sexual orientation. Her mother-in-law, who is Catholic, withdrew her financial aid to her grandson. Now, this mother is being scolded by her son for not using her savings to pay for his final year of college.
A Supportive Response From Both Parents
The original poster (OP), Ruby, has a son, Charlie, who came out to her and her husband in his early teens. Like good parents, they supported Charlie and were proud of him for being open with them.
Ruby’s Dilemma
Ruby’s mother-in-law is extremely religious and intolerant of gay people. However, she is wealthy and has helped pay for her grandson’s college education.
Charlie’s College Choice
Her only condition was for her grandchildren to attend religious private schools. Ruby’s mother-in-law believed this would help prevent them from partying and other promiscuous activities.
Dealing With the Circumstances
Ruby didn’t see eye to eye with her mother-in-law, but she didn’t have an alternative option because she couldn’t financially support her children’s college education. When it came time for Charlie to attend college, he chose a Christian college nearby.
Starting One Year Ahead
Because Charlie graduated college with many Advanced Placement (AP) credits from high school, he only needed three years to graduate. He recently began his second year, which his grandmother paid for, but Charlie’s luck quickly changed.
A Sudden Outing and Drastic Consequences
One weekend, Charlie came home to celebrate his grandmother’s birthday and confessed to one of his cousins that he was talking to a boy at college. Charlie’s cousin appeared supportive at the time, but he eventually told his parents.
Charlie’s Plea for Financial Help
It didn’t take long for word to spread throughout the family, and when Charlie’s grandmother heard the news, she immediately called Ruby to inform her that she would not make any future payments toward his education.
Grandma’s Fallout
On top of this, Ruby’s mother-in-law announced that she would no longer speak to Charlie. Ruby was upset because she told Charlie to be careful about confessing his secret.
Evaluating Priorities
Ruby doesn’t like that Charlie can’t be his true self, but she and her husband can’t afford his tuition. Now, Charlie might have to take out student loans to pay for his final year of college.
Navigating the Complex Fallout
Charlie immediately ran to his parents for help and demanded they use their savings to pay for his final year. The problem was that this would’ve totaled roughly $25,000.
Parental Support vs. Financial Realities
Although Ruby and her husband could cover a good portion of this amount, they’d have to dip into their savings, which they planned on using for important house renovations. They tried to explain to Charlie why they couldn’t help him pay, but he still appeared upset.
The Unsettling Impact of Charlie’s Outing
“In this entire post you are more angry and disappointed in your son instead of your **** parents. You are more angry at your child than at the little tattle-tale who vomited ********** at the first chance they got.”
Varying Opinions on Accountability
“It’s extremely unfortunate that her son was outed. But his life is not over. He can take out loans. He can apply for scholarships. He can transfer to a cheaper school. He has almost a year to figure this out. No one is entitled to graduate debt free.”
Dealing With the Consequences
“Everyone wants to be out in the open until it’s time to meet the consequences. Should there be consequences? No? Are there? Yes? Is life fair? No? Is anyone obligated to pay someone’s college tuition no?”
Ruby’s Tough Decision
Ruby feels her son is an adult and “needs to deal with the consequences.” It doesn’t seem right for Charlie’s grandmother to cut off support, but at least he only has one year left.
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