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This man was able to save some money by moving in with his girlfriend. Despite the lower living expenses, he quickly demanded more than his girlfriend was willing to provide. Now, she is wondering if it is a good idea to get financially involved with him.
Different Financial Obligations
The original poster (OP), who we’ll call Nora, started off her explanation of the dilemma by stating that she owns her own home. Although she hasn’t fully paid off her mortgage, the house is under her name and is her financial obligation.
John, Nora’s boyfriend, has been renting his current apartment for the last two years. It’s important to note that John has a two-year agreement with three months remaining on the lease.
Financial Disputes Start
John began complaining to Nora about money issues and even hinted at wanting to move in with her.
Since Nora had been with him for three years, she felt that John moving in with her was the “natural next step.”
Time to Move In
A few weeks later, Nora offered to have John move in with her.
“We agreed that as he isn’t gaining any equity in my house, he won’t contribute to the mortgage but he will split all utilities with me equally.”
Despite splitting some of the bills, John would still save money, as he wouldn’t be helping with the mortgage.
Great news, right? Unfortunately, this is where things started to head south.
Unwanted Termination Fees
Since John terminated his apartment lease three months early, he was charged $600.
One would imagine that despite having to pay this fee, John would have no problem paying it since he would be saving money living with Nora.
Revealing True Colors
After receiving the $600 fee, John demanded that Nora pay half.
Nora quickly rejected John’s request. She felt she was already helping John by not asking him to help pay her mortgage.
Boyfriend Reacts to Girlfriend’s Response
John didn’t like Nora’s response and insisted she should pay since she was “the reason he’s leaving his tenancy early.”
This only made matters worse.
Financial Obligations in Relationships
Nora tried to reason with John, telling him he didn’t have to move in with her if he wasn’t ready.
This didn’t help.
“When I told him he could stay at his and move in with me when his tenancy ended (and therefore would not be required to pay the fee) he got even angrier and said I was showing my true colours…”
Navigating Financial Responsibilities
Now Nora is left feeling bad for the position she’s in.
To make matters worse, John has enough savings to cover the cost. Why doesn’t he want to pay?
What People Really Think About Financial Obligations
“This! Omg there aren’t enough red flags on the Internet to cover this. Do Not move in with him! And you should have never let him move in without some sort of Rent. Let him stay at his place,” commented a passionate user.
“I don’t understand this ‘not getting any equity so not paying rent’ thing,” another user said. “People know that they’re not getting any equity when they pay rent to a landlord right? It seems like an easy way for the other partner to just live rent free. I would get it if there are plans to sell the house soon or something like that maybe. But it just doesn’t make sense to me.”
“This entire situation is a hand grenade with the pin already pulled!” a third user warned. “Do not let him put one foot in residency of your home or leave so much as a shirt behind! He is looking for you to support him and make your money and resources his.
“He’s unbelievably selfish and frankly this is a really good attempt at financial abuse. Do not let him get started this way. You need to seriously consider terminating this relationship immediately.”
Lessons Learned About Money
Everyone works hard to earn a living. Some are better at managing their money than others.
In Nora’s case, she tried to help her boyfriend save money by letting him move in with her. She only asked him to pay for half of the utilities, yet he still demanded that Nora pay his early termination fees.
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