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An older sibling must figure out how he’ll pay for his brother’s college expenses. Despite him having to pay for his expenses for college, his parents and brother now expect his financial support.
Parents’ Favorite Mantra
The original poster (OP), who we’ll refer to as Dan, has a younger brother, Mason.
Dan grew up with his parents’ mantra that he’d be responsible for his expenses as an adult.
Persevering With Hard Work
Dan was a hard worker and started working when he was 15. After high school, Dan attended a state college, where he received a scholarship.
Dan worked hard throughout his time away and eventually graduated college.
On the Path to Zero Debt
While it’s common for college graduates to graduate with massive amounts of debt, Dan only had $7500 to pay off after graduation.
It didn’t take Dan long to find a job after college, which helped him quickly pay off his remaining college debt. Great, right?
Sibling Rivalry Intensifies
Mason didn’t receive the same talk from his parents as Dan. Instead, they bought him a car when he turned 16.
Around the same time, Dan was working hard to support himself. However, despite not working, his parents gifted his brother things.
Expensive School Choice
Mason was academically smart and was eventually accepted to an Ivy League school.
The problem was that he didn’t receive a scholarship. Financial aid also wouldn’t be an option since Mason’s parents’ income was too high.
“Favorite” Son’s Controversial Demand
By this point, Dan was making a decent living and had a few years of professional experience.
Now that Mason was planning to attend an Ivy League school, he and his parents expected Dan to help financially.
Is it Dan’s responsibility, though?
Although Mason didn’t receive a scholarship to attend the Ivy League school that accepted him, he did receive a scholarship to attend a state school.
However, for Mason and his parents, “that’s not good enough for them.”
The Burden of Unfair Expectations
When Dan reminded his parents of their mantra that adults are responsible for their own expenses, they got upset.
“They are mad that I’m not willing to sacrifice my life to help another adult.”
Now Dan is left feeling frustrated for being put in an unfair position.
What People Really Think About Paying For Someone’s College
“Sounds like either a golden child scenario and/or sexism if you’re a woman. That’s definitely favoritism and not fair to you…”
“Your brother can take out student loans or keep applying for scholarships in subsequent years. It’s not your obligation as you’ve worked hard to stand on your own 2 feet and are simply applying what your parents taught you.”
More Truth About Responsibility
“…You didn’t choose to have a brother, your parents chose to create him. They got themselves into this mess by having two smart kids. It’s their responsibility, not yours.”
Resentment and Financial Strains
It appears the mantra Dan’s parents instilled in him when he was young ended up benefitting him in the end. He worked hard to make a path for himself in the world and opted to attend a college he could afford since no one would help him.
Is it fair that Dan’s now being pressured to help Mason pay for college when he has a more cost-effective alternative?
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