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A teenager’s father asked to borrow her college fund to cover expensive medical treatment for her younger brother. However, agreeing would mean sacrificing her dreams to help her family. Now she’s torn on what decision to make.
A Devastating Divorce
The original poster (OP), Anna, has lived with her mother since she was seven. Her mother divorced her father after he admitted to having an affair.
Witnessing the Breakup
Shortly after, Anna and her mother moved out of their house and into an apartment. At the same time, Anna’s father moved his mistress, who was pregnant with twins, into his home.
Moving On and Pursuing Education
Anna’s mom was devastated after the breakup, but she went back to school and climbed up the corporate ladder. She adjusted better than Anna’s father after the divorce.
Rebuilding Lives
Anna’s mom contributed a substantial amount of money to Anna’s college fund, while her father had a harder time. Since Anna’s father had a family of four to care for on his single income, he had little money left over.
Unequal Contributions
Anna was about to graduate high school and, fortunately, felt she had a good chance at being accepted to her first-choice college. Not everyone in Anna’s family was celebrating, however.
A Brother’s Health Crisis
Anna’s younger brother had recently been diagnosed with a kidney disease that required further analysis. It didn’t take long for Anna’s father to drown in medical expenses, so Anna’s mother no longer needed him to pay for child support.
Need for Expensive Treatment
The doctor suggested a different treatment for Anna’s brother, but their insurance didn’t cover it. Unfortunately, the treatment was expensive, and Anna’s father didn’t qualify to take out additional loans due to his debt.
Financial Struggles
One day, Anna’s father and his wife sat down with her to ask if she’d let them borrow her college fund to pay for her brother’s treatment. Despite their offer to pay Anna back, she knew there was little to no chance this would happen due to their current financial state.
A Desperate Request
Anna felt terrible about her brother’s condition but wasn’t confident she could afford college if she gave away her college fund. She felt that her future would be at risk and her father wouldn’t be able to help.
Weighing the Consequences
Technically, Anna’s college fund was under her mom’s name, so she had no authority to give the money away. Additionally, Anna knew her mother wouldn’t allow her to give up her dreams.
A Moral Dilemma
After she politely declined to help, Anna’s father and his wife became furious.
Not Getting Money Back
“You’re **** right you’re not getting the money back if you loan them. It was grossly inappropriate for our father to ask for money from you, who I presume is a minor.”
Experimental Treatment
“I’m guessing one of the reasons OP’s mom won’t go for it is because if insurance won’t pay for it and Medicare won’t pay for it (because the US will pay pretty much all your medical bills once your kidneys totally quit) is because the treatment is “experimental” which means it’s not going to work.”
Stay-at-Home Mom Needs a Job
“The SAHM can get a job to help with finances instead of pilfering her stepson’s college fund. Your mom got a job that enabled you to have a college fund. I don’t think your mom needs to support a SAHM also. Your mom is already being incredibly generous by foregoing child support.”
Navigating Emotional Turmoil
Shortly after, Anna spoke to her mom about the matter, and they don’t plan on giving away her entire college fund.
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