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A question was posted on a popular online forum that drew varied responses.
The original poster (OP), whom we’ll refer to as Joe, is a dad who refused to pay his daughter’s college tuition fee.
All Expenses Paid
This story started when Joe’s daughter chose to pursue an English degree after a year of traveling that Joe paid for.
To continue offering his financial support, Joe had only one demand for his daughter – choose a different degree that would enable her to be financially better off.
English Is a Valid Degree
Joe’s daughter thinks he is the worst dad for not helping her pay for college when he gladly paid for her brothers’ medical degrees.
According to Joe, “Now me and my wife have nothing against Jane doing what she did, she’s young and young people live to explore and do what they do, however before me and my wife allowed Jane to do her thing we made her promise that when she did apply to university it was for a degree that was worth it…”
Supporting Your Child’s Choices
It’s not uncommon for parents to find themselves in difficult situations with their children. While supporting your child’s choices is every parent’s priority, it can come with a cost.
Joe made his intentions for supporting his daughter clear. He would only support her financially if she opted for a profitable degree. Instead, she opted for an English degree.
Parents Want What’s Best for Their Kids
In Joe’s own words, “Me not wanting my daughter to do an English degree is not because I’m sexist but because I want her to do something useful which she can live off instead of depending on me for the rest of her life.”
It appears that the daughter has put Joe in a difficult spot.
Worst Dad Ever?
He might not be the “worst dad” ever, given that he sponsored her traveling and seems to be only looking out for her future. Plus, it is said that kids are not always the best decision-makers.
However, most people online think differently.
What People Think
A thriving librarian with an English degree thinks that Joe is punishing his daughter because she picked a degree he disapproves of, stating, “… I’ve been a librarian for ten years and have helped thousands of people. [M]y pay is enough to keep me housed, fed, and comfortable.”
Another user said, “Not everyone wants to do a medical degree. It’s hard, it’s long and it leads you to being a doctor, which isn’t for everyone.”
How Different Perspectives Can Affect Family Relationships
A user commented, “If you pay for one kid, you should pay for all kids. And to determine that what she’s interested in is “not worth it” is a jerk move. Let your kid study what she wants.”
Family Principles Should Be Respected
They say one principle does not apply to all kids, as each kid has their interests, potential, and goals, and trying to fit them all under one umbrella is not the wisest move.
However, if a parent supports one child’s dream while neglecting the other’s, it can badly affect family relationships.
Most people online strongly spoke in favor of the daughter choosing the degree she wants.
What Happened When the Daughter and Father Discussed College Tuition
Joe tried to have a logical discussion with his daughter.
He suggested she take out her own student loan if she wanted to pursue an English degree. However, Joe’s daughter thinks her dad is being unfair, and so do most users.
More From the Audience
One user commented, “I think this is a little unfair. It’s completely and utterly up to your daughter to make her own life decisions, even if they aren’t what you’d have wanted. Who’s to say she doesn’t become a teacher after her studies? Just because she doesn’t want to live her life how you want her to doesn’t mean you should treat her any less.”
It looks like Joe may need to rethink his idea of a “happy and safe future.”
Dealing With the Consequences of Disagreeing About Parental Support
Disagreeing about parental support can not often lead to strained family relationships.
One user thinks, “For choosing to do what you want with your money, it is your money. But YTA (You are The A*****e) for deciding which degrees are “worth it” and which aren’t.”
Being a parent is not easy; it requires patience and self-sacrifice. Would you allow your kid to pave their own path, or have them walk a pre-paved one?
The internet has influenced the ideas presented in this article. It does not necessarily align with the views or opinions of the Financially Well Off.
Source: Reddit
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