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A young man’s recent good news to attend his dream college turned sour when his half-sister demanded he give up his dream for hers. Despite having scholarships for alternative colleges, she expected her brother to sacrifice his dreams, which led to a clash of opinions and accusations of selfishness.
Losing a Father at a Young Age
The original poster (OP), who we’ll refer to as Adam, never had the chance to meet his father. He passed away when Adam was only 18 months old.
Building a New Family
Adam’s mom eventually remarried and had her daughter Sarah. For context, Sarah and Adam were about one year apart.
Saving for a Bright Future
Eventually, Adam’s grandparents (from his father’s side) passed away. However, they informed Adam years earlier about the college fund they’d saved for him. Throughout the years, Adam’s college fund grew substantially.
College Choices and Family Expectations
Adam was close to graduating high school and began applying to different colleges. He always dreamed of getting accepted into Oxford despite living in the US.
Receiving Exciting News
The good news was that attending Oxford would be possible, but it would mean using all his college fund. Additionally, Adam was accepted to other prestigious schools in the US, and these schools offered him generous scholarships.
Dreams vs. Obligations
Ultimately, Adam decided to attend Oxford since it had always been his dream and would align with his long-term goals. Here’s when things started heading south.
Balancing Personal Ambitions and Family Needs
Unlike Adam, Sarah didn’t get good grades and, because of this, didn’t qualify for any scholarships. She wanted Adam to attend a more affordable college so that she could use the college fund to pay for her tuition.
Addressing College Fund Expectations
Adam didn’t feel this was fair. Furthermore, he didn’t want to be held responsible for his sister’s actions. His sister wasn’t related to his grandparents and had no claim to his college funds.
Making Decisions Based on Personal Goals
Adam refused to give up on his dreams and told his sister he would not pay for her college. Sarah criticized Adam, calling him selfish. She couldn’t understand why he refused to help her pay for college.
Adam’s Thoughts
“I pointed out she was doing the same thing, asking me to give up my dream.”
“I think she’s at fault here, because she failed to do what she needed to in order to achieve her goals and is now asking me to make sacrifices for her.”
Not Worth Sacrificing Your Dreams
“Why should you make an extreme sacrifice that might impact your career choices for the rest of your life? For an entitled half-sister who phoned it in for all of high school? How will you feel, having given up your dreams, when she inevitably drops out of college? The money is rightfully yours from your dad’s family, and you should use it to make the most of your life!”
Unfair Expectations?
“Also the parents have had 17 years to save money for half sister’s college. They were probably always thinking they’d get to use some part of OPs fund. It’s all yours OP…half sister has no claim. She can blame her own parents for their shortsightedness.”
An Unfortunate Reality
“Your grandparents saved it for you. Which is very sweet of them. I do feel sorry for your sister that she hadn’t had the same luck.”
Choosing the Right Path
Adam worked hard throughout the years to attend his dream college. Unfortunately, Sarah prioritized her goals and expected Adam to sacrifice his dream. Did Adam make the right choice?
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