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While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, open communication is key. Here’s a story of a woman who willingly pays for all expenses her partner deems “fair.” When she lands a job with a higher salary, her boyfriend crosses the line.
A Fully Paid-Off Flat in a Vibrant Area
The original poster, Susan, lives with her boyfriend, James, in a fully paid-off flat.
The entire building was built a few years prior in a popular area in town.
A Unique Rent Arrangement
Susan pays her boyfriend half of the market rent, which James updates annually compared to local market rates.
Despite this being a good amount of money, Susan agreed to Jame’s rules.
All Expenses Shared Equally
Aside from this, all other expenses were split evenly between Susan and James.
Things headed downhill when Susan landed a new job.
A New Job Sparks Financial Discord
Susan’s new job paid her significantly more, and now James wanted to split their expenses proportionally.
For example, Susan would pay 70% of the costs and James 30%.
Proposal for a Proportional Split
Susan felt she was getting penalized for getting a promotion and told James this would be unfair.
However, James believed sharing their expenses based on income was “fair.”
Clash of Perspectives on Fairness
Still, Susan didn’t budge. She felt that she shouldn’t have to pay more of the bills because nothing had changed from before.
It felt like her promotion was slowly disappearing with the additional tabs to pay.
The Weight of Unchanged Circumstances
Susan felt torn. She already paid James rent money comparable to places a few blocks away.
James had no real arguments to make and stated that Susan was “ripping” him off.
Stalemate in a Heated Debate
Both Susan and James continued to have a heated debate.
In the end, Susan clarified that she wouldn’t split her expenses proportionally.
Fair, but No More Rent
“I’d tell him you’re okay splitting expenses proportional to income, but rent isn’t an expense you guys have to pay, so you’ll no longer be paying him rent,” one person suggested.
Why Is He Charging Rent?
“I say this as someone who owns a house outright and has my SO living with me,” another said. “They don’t pay rent. I wouldn’t dream of charging rent to them when I don’t have to pay anything. We split property taxes twice a year, and that’s it.”
Monkey Do, Monkey See
“He’s accusing you of ripping him off because he is trying to rip you off,” another stated.
Reconsidering Choices After Cooling Down
Susan’s best friend informed her that she splits her expenses proportionally with her partner.
After having some time to cool down, Susan wondered if she made the right choice.
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