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A daughter struggles with her parent’s decision to move away from her and her grandchild. Initially, her parents moved near to assist her during motherhood. However, now they want to move a few hours away to enjoy retirement.
Parents’ Lifelong Commitment to Daughter
The original poster, Jade, is a middle-aged mother who’s always tried her best to support her family.
Sarah, Jade’s daughter, married a few years prior and moved to a different city while pregnant.
A Dedicated Move to Support Sarah’s Needs
To support Sarah during this period, Jade and her husband retired and bought a house within a 10-minute drive from her.
Jade planned on babysitting her granddaughter until she turned one when Sarah could afford daycare.
Shifting Family Dynamics
Additionally, Sarah’s husband traveled a lot for work, so it made sense for Jade and her husband to live near each other.
Here’s where things head downhill.
Transitioning to Weekends
Eventually Sarah returned to work and could afford her baby’s daycare. Her husband also stopped traveling for work.
Cherished Memories of Family
Lately, Jade and her husband have only been spending the weekends with Sarah and their grandchild.
As the weeks passed, Jade anticipated little need for her and her husband to assist Sarah.
A Lifetime of Sacrifice and Care
As a kid, Sarah grew up in a multi-generational duplex home, where her grandparents lived on the main floor and her family on the upper level.
She loved visiting her grandparents, especially when her parents were working full-time.
Embracing Retirement
Things weren’t always easy for Jade, but she managed to get by with her husband.
At this point, she’d worked 40+ years and spent much effort caring for her parents during their declining years.
Pursuing Fulfillment After Decades of Work
Jade felt it was time for her and her husband to enjoy their retirement near the city.
The new town would put them three hours away from Sarah, but they would still be closer than their son-in-law’s parents, who live further away.
Questioning Selflessness
The city Jade and her husband planned on moving to had many activities for seniors.
Jade and her husband planned on visiting their daughter frequently when needed or invited, just like Sarah’s in-laws.
Navigating a Path Forward
Sarah wasn’t happy when she discovered her parents’ plan to move away. She called them out for “wanting to move away and not continue to be a village generation.”
A Clash of Perspectives
“Your daughter not wanting you to move away because it is inconvenient for her childcare needs is not your issue to deal with,” one person said.
Challenging Expectations
“This is probably the first time in your life you’ve been in a position to make the life for yourself that you want,” another said. “You’ve spent years, probably decades, taking care of everyone else . . . Don’t spend your whole life doing for others. You deserve some time to do the things you want to do and enjoy the things you love.”
A Mother’s Right for Self-Care
“Your daughter saying you need to ‘stay close in case she needs you’ is what is selfish,” a third said. “She wants you to plan your life around hers after dedicating all of [your] life to her?”
Chasing Personal Happiness
Jade was left with mixed feelings and believes her daughter feels rejected.
However, she still plans on moving away with her husband.
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